Welcome To The Official Blog Of Porn Star Cassandra Calogera

So i have been in Bangkok for the past three days…its been so tiring walking around everywhere…i am so lazy haha. I ate bugs the other day…i was really excited to come here and eat the bugs, i dunno why…just wanted to put it on my to do list to say i’ve done it :)   they weren’t that bad, its the whole notion that you know your eating some little critter that crawls around that makes the whole experience grows…but in actuality they didn’t taste gross or anything. not good though, defiantly not good!

Today i went to the grand palace…took some pics of all the temples and Buddha. im not really into that kind of stuff but some of it was really beautiful and so intricate…glad i went to go see it.

I have another film out with new sensations called Young Girls with Big Tits #5 so check out that dvd. they also just put up a new scene of me on heavyhandfuls.com

check it out!!

xoxo

CASS

So lately i’ve been feeling a little craZy. For those of you who really want to know ME…here is some vital information.I’ve struggled with depression, amoung other things my whole life. The reason i am bringing this up is because a lot of myold symptoms are really hitting hard right now. I go through stages in my life where depression and paranoia becomes a big struggle in my daily life.
I am in thailand right now. I am on vacation. And im sad. Im depressed in a beautiful country…im here with the person i love most in my life…and i am struggling to keep a smile on my face. I know you all like to see me happy…and i hope by writing this you don’t look at me differently, but i really just needed to vent. I have no one here to talk to…and it’s a pain in the ass trying to call people at home because of the time differences…so i just felt like writing.
I am feeling really homesick lately. Which i shouldn’t because i really never have time off to relax and enjoy myself…i am usually working in LA, or in New York…always busy busy busy. I am really missing my best friend, being away makes me realize how much i value my friendships with people back home…and being away from those people really takes a toll on me.
I love my boyfriend, and i can talk to him about almost anything…but you know how sometimes there are just things you don’t want to talk about with your partner…maybe the subject is awkward or its something you know they just won’t understand. That’s how i am feeling right now…like i need my friend to just comfort me and let me know things are alright.

Thailand has been a great expierence thus far, i broke alot of my “fears” by coming here and I feel like i have grown as a person. By “fears” i am talking about something specific…for whatever reason i was always petrifed to go to the gym with my boyfriend…or in front of other people, (don’t ask)…this is my crazyness coming out! But while here in thailand I went to muay thai kickboxing training…WITH my boyfriend, which was a big deal. I also am really shy…i bet a lot of you wouldn’t guess that! I feel totally comfortable ripping my clothes off in front of strangers and having sex on film…but when it comes to approaching people at a bar and striking up a conversation, it makes my hair stand up and i get so nervous and have aniexty attacks. But here i have been able to keep friendly with everyone, i use to get really nervous but now
I feel pretty laid back and mellow. So i feel like a lot of good has come out of this trip…but something just doesn’t sit right.
I have always been a crazy jealous person…with ANY relationship. When i was younger i was always jealous of my sister, i always felt like i had to fight for my parents attention and i always felt like she won. Within my friendships…i like to have ONE person who i do everything with, i am not into big groups of friends because typically i don’t find that many “real” people so i tend to stick to just one person. Anyways in friendships i get jealous if they start hanging out with someone else..because i feel like i have been betrayed. Deep down i realize it is all just crazy paranoia but it still effects my emotions. With boyfriends its the WORST! With my frist serious relationship i was cheated on 6 different times within the span of like a month…we dated for six years. That hurt my ability to trust men really bad. My second serious
relationship was destroyed because of my iniablity to trust. After i got hurt…i guess it kind of tricked my brain into sterotyping all men as cheaters who don’t give a shit. So i ended up ruining a potentially good relationship because I was so worried and paranoid all the time that he was out doing bad things. Part of the reason i ended up moving to LA was because I knew i needed to grow up. I knew i had to put myself in a position where i felt uncomfortable and then i had to survive whatever was thrown in my face. So i came to LA…now i am in a place where pretty much everyone is perfect looking, where any potential boyfriend is SURE to have wandering eyes, i put myself in a position where i knew pretty much NO ONE..
and i had to create friendships all by myself, i had to provide for myself and really truely be independent. Ever since I moved to LA…i have become a much stronger person. I made myself deal with things that always scared the shit out of me. It’s called exposure therapy…you can never get over a fear if you don’t put yourself right there in the middle of it.
I trust my boyfriend, i actually really truely think he is a good person who has good intentions. The worried thoughts and paranoia i use to get with my ex i rarely have with with my current boyfriend…which is awesome. We never fight and he makes me pretty freakin happy for the most part.
For whatever reason when we came to thailand…those crazy thoughts started up again. It’s been over a year and half since i have had bad thoughts…but for some reason they are in full force here. Thailand is a tough place to be with your boyfriend…in my opinion at least. Litterally ever two feet there is some thai hooker dying to get into any foriegn mans pants because she wants his wallet. everywhere you go. And obviously that is the appeal for a lot of men to even come here.
But for me…being here with my boyfriend, and all of our friends here being guys who get hookers every night…its awkward for me to sit around them and listen to them talk up there hooker stories every night when i am sitting there next to my boyfriend. Like what am i suppose to contribute to the conversation? ya know?
Anyway, now i find myself getting mad at my boyfriend for no reason. We go out and get drunk and once i am drunk i start thinking crazy things…like if i don’t see him for five minutes i assume he is in the bathroom getting his dick sucked by a thai chick. which would be gay because no one sucks dick like me..LOL  
but you get my drift. i hate thinking things like that. deep down i know its all stupid and my mind is just going nuts but i cant get these stupid thoughts out of my head!! and i don’t want to be that girl. it ruined my last relationship. i was always making accusations that even to me sounded CRAZY, but some part of me always thought it was true. so i wrote all of this today because it helps me to understand that im just going through a hard time. at least when i write it out i validate that its just paranoia and that my boyfriend isn’t here to hurt me. and that he is afterall a good person and that guys in general can be good people with good intentions.

on another note…i am really excited to get the website up and going. I think it should be in another 2-3 weeks. I really am into webcam shows…i think i will be offering them once a week so that i can interact with all of you! that should be really cool! you guys need to email me ideas for videos that you want to see…i had someone request bondage so that is now on the list. ask and you shall recieve :)
i am off to bangkok tomorrow…we will be there for a week and then we come back to phuket for another 2 weeks. right now i feel ready to go home, but i am just having a bad day. anywho…thanks for listening to my crazy rant!!
love all of your support so much

also i have ANOTHER cover by new sensation called Young Girl With Big Tits # 5…so check that out fellas!!
xoxo
cass

Hey guys! I am at an internet place right now in thailand, my laptop doesn’t get WIFI very well from the place i am staying at….so decided to update here. Things are going well, its a bit rainy today but it usually clears up and gets sunny during some part of the day…so at least its not constant.

So my boyfriend and i joined the muay thai kickboxing class yesterday, i had done a couple of training classes back in LA but this was my first time doing it here. I am sooooo out of shape. It’s crazy because i was always super athletic as a kid…played soccer, basketball, rode horses, was an avid runner….then i hit high school…drugs…etc..and i pretty much got REALLY lazy. So its been a long time since i’ve been active and i think its about time i got back on track and tried to be healthy again. I sit around far to much, drink and party far to much…and with all of that i lose track of what life is really about. So anyway, i trained yesterday and i am so sore today, i have muscles hurting that i didn’t even know were there! so thats pretty cool…it feels really good to be doing something productive, something good for myself and my body. i think its about time i start to keep my health and mind and body in check!

I went to a snake show the other day…i am petrified of snakes! the snake charmer had us sit in the snake pit with a king cobra…i was a tad bit scared. one thing i am really looking forward to doing here in to bungy jump…i am convincing my boyfriend to do it with me. i hate heights but i think its good to face the things your afraid of most…it can only make you stronger right?

anyways thats all for now, i am going to try to upload some pictures from my trip thus far! its been really cool…we have met a lot of great people and you become very close to them so quickly because we are all here on our own, so you bond with each other at a much faster rate then normal. its a bit tough because the group we hang out with is ALL guys…which is cool because i actually get along better with guys, i always have! but it gets a tad annoying because they all pick up thai hookers and then i have to here about there stories all the time which leaves me craving some estrogen!! but oh well…its nothing i can’t deal with :)

hope all is well with everyone! i have a bunch of movies coming out with new sensations, i know i wrote that in my last blog, but another once is out, i think its boobstravaganza #11 or something so check it out!

xoxo

cass

Hey guys, sorry its been so long since i have posted! I’ve been relaxing in Thailand and enjoying my time off. For those who have been asking…i am stictly here for fun, no work for me here! Just sitting around relaxing, going to the beach, and drinking! It’s been really fun so far however we are here during the monsoon seasons and its been raining A LOT! So that kind of stinks…i really would love to be out on the beach every day trying to work on my tan which i need very badly! LOL

The thai ladies here love me…they are obsessed with my boobs…since all of them are flat chested they just seem to be in awe my my big tits haha. Some girl at the bar came over and gave me a hickey on my left titty! I got a picture of that so don’t worry!!

Anyways i just wanted to do a little bit of an update, the internet is VERY slow here so its hard to get online and write you a lot. I am still reading all of your questions and comments so thank you for those and keep hitting me up!

I wanted to ask you guys to check out a new movie that i boxcovered. Its called BOOBS A PLENTY please check out the trailer at newsensations.com and then BUY IT!! if you like it of course… lol

I have another new sensations movies coming out on the 15th that is called My Fantasy Girl POV #2 which i also boxcovered so i reccomend if your wanting some new hot cassandra material you check those out!! Thanks guys, love and miss you all!

XOXO
CASS